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Dear Reader,

I love it when a book sticks with me.

I just finished reading Careless People: A Cautionary Tale of Power, Greed, and Lost Idealism by Sarah Winn-Williams. For those who haven’t heard of it, it’s a memoir written by a former senior staffer at Facebook. Given my interest in toxic work culture and women’s leadership in combination with Mark Zuckerberg’s rumored attempt to keep Macmillan from promoting the book, I immediately put my name on the library waiting list.

I won’t include spoilers here – I imagine some of you out there might want to read it. But I want to share what’s been on my mind ever since I read the chapter that first introduced what it was like to work with Sheryl Sandberg.

Sandberg is probably best known for Lean In – a book that became a whole movement for working women.

Based on the general themes of that book, I would expect Sandberg to be someone who would advocate for the women who worked for her. Someone who would be supportive, understanding, and flexible. This particular account of working for Sheryl certainly did not present her in that way.

I have this phrase that I use often – “lead with curiosity” – especially when something makes you uncomfortable. Leading with curiosity in this instance means I currently have more questions than I have judgments about the situation. The portrayal wasn’t pretty and definitely gave me pause. And then the questions started flowing. In no particular order:

• Actions speak louder than words, but what if all we have is a person's words and we aren’t privy to their actions? Are their words still of value?
• When we find out that a person doesn’t live by the values they profess to others, what does that mean for the advice people have taken from them?
• Am I being overly critical of this woman? Am I holding her to a higher standard than I do for similar men? Are there business or self help books that have been written by men that I blindly accept as “good” even when I know their actions aren’t 100% aligned?
• Are MY actions aligned with my professed values? Am I holding this woman, due to her relative notoriety and wealth, to a higher standard than I do myself?

Again, I don’t want to spoil anything so I won’t go into much more detail. And to be fair, there were plenty of men that were portrayed in a terrible light. I guess I’m just not left with as many questions about them. Take that for what it's worth.

Women can be toxic, too

When I wrote Promises Broken, I got to the end of the writing process and realized something unintentional. While my goal had been to center women’s stories when they were the victims of toxic work culture, I realized that the antagonists of most of the stories were also women.

Here is an excerpt from the author’s note I included to be sure readers didn’t walk away with the wrong message:

Women are not excused for their toxic behaviors merely because they share in some of the same challenges we all face. I felt this deeply when reading about Sandberg in Careless People. Just because she may have influenced a whole generation of professional women positively, she is not excused for creating a toxic work environment for even a handful of her employees.

Have you read Careless People or Promises Broken? I would love to hear your thoughts on the questions I’ve shared or other questions you were left with from your own reading.

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Summer reading

What're you reading this summer? Is your summer for non-fiction or fiction? My summer reads have included Every Note Played, Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, My Friends, The Inheritance, and Careless People, and I just started Audition. Reach out if you want to discuss any of those... or pick up your copy of Promises Broken (links below). It's a great time to get caught up! ☀️🏖️ 📚

Wishing you a peaceful and purpose-filled week,

Beth

​ ​Now available! Promises Broken: Reclaiming Your Health and Humanity When Mission-Driven Work Lets You Down ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ "...This book is essential reading for nonprofit leaders, social impact professionals, and anyone who has ever felt drained by the work they love. It’s a powerful reminder that you are not alone—and that reclaiming your health and humanity is not only possible but necessary. Highly recommended!" ~Amazon Customer Also available on Amazon.

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