Stop waiting for a better answer

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Dear Reader,

I have been trying to build a daily journaling practice. I recognize the value of journaling, but I struggle with the execution.

Right now I have a coach who is sending me daily prompts. Every day at 8 am. How hard can it be? I could pick any time of the day to build this routine, and all I have to do is check Slack for the daily prompt and write about it. Why is this so hard for me to do?

When I was in Corfu last month, a portion of each day was dedicated to deep reflection and writing. Yep, that means journaling. Some of the questions presented were:

• Describe a recent surprise that made you happy.
• Where in your life are you still hiding?
• For what problems do people come to you for advice?
• What’s one story you’ve never told anyone?
• What a moment in your life that changed everything – internally or externally?

I was sitting in person with a group of women responding to the same questions, so the accountability forced me into action. That experience made me recognize one of the barriers to establishing this practice at home.

My tendency when presented with a journaling prompt is always to wonder if there’s a better answer than the one that came to mind. I don’t immediately start writing, I perseverate over the content of my writing.

• “So and so came to me for advice on X, but is that the best example? Do others?”
• “I never told anyone about Y, but maybe there’s a more interesting story that I also haven’t told.”
• “This moment was big, but was it the biggest?”

Doesn’t that sound ridiculous? It does to me. (Self-deprecation is a “strength” of mine, 😆)

I mean, honestly. Wondering if there is a “better” answer for my journal? Who cares? No one is grading me. It’s not about the right answer, it’s about the process. If I write about one thing in today’s response, maybe another thing will come up in my mind later, and I can write about that then. Maybe I won’t always need someone to send me daily journaling prompts after I establish the practice.

When I was together with the others in Corfu, my efforts were time-bound. I couldn’t say “Well I’ll just think about it while I do some other tasks and see if a better answer comes up.” (Remember last week when I wrote about “things that are not doing the thing”? This one is a classic.) So, I had to adopt a new approach.

Stop waiting for a better answer. Just write.

After our allotted time was up, I was going to be asked to share reflections. And I couldn’t say “I didn’t write anything, I’m still waiting for a better answer.”

So many women I know are trying to rid themselves of perfectionist tendencies. They emerge in so many odd places. Journaling is one of my oddest. But they show up in job searches and work challenges, too. (Is this the right match? Do I have all the experience required? What is the best way to approach this thorny problem? Do I have all the information?)

I am reminded of a message James Clear shared in one of his newsletters this spring:

I’m going to stop waiting for a better answer and just start writing. What “best path” are you going to take today?

Wishing you a peaceful and purpose-filled week,

Beth

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