The power of paying attention

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Dear Reader,

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about my 5th grade teacher, Miss Parasine.

I’m pretty sure my desire to be a teacher started when I was in her class.

I turned 11 that year. My brother was 4. Just old enough to sit in that little Playskool desk and be my “student.”.

Lately I’ve been wondering – what exactly about my experience with her was so pivotal?

I had very few “bad” teachers in my 13 years of public school, and all my teachers leading up to 5th grade were good. When I think about each, here’s what I remember:

• Kindergarten was a hard adjustment for me. I cried every day for the first two weeks. My teacher had long frizzy HUGE hair and when I cried she had me sit on her lap. Her hair stuck to my face.
• I have absolutely no memory of my 1st grade teacher, but I do remember that I was in a brand new elementary school building and already the school was overcrowded. My classroom was in a trailer outside of the school.
• In 2nd grade I moved to New Jersey and my teacher was an incredibly sweet old lady. That’s all I remember.
• My 3rd grade teacher noticed I needed glasses and cleared up the world for me.
• In 4th grade the series M*A*S*H aired its final episode. You might think that’s a strange thing to remember in this context, especially because I had never watched a single episode of the show. My 4th grade teacher was a fan, though, because we were assigned to do a report about the show. I got in trouble for “plagiarism” because I called my friend to tell me about this show I had never seen. (Remember – no on demand episodes at our disposal.) I guess my report sounded a lot like hers.

I’m sure there was more depth and good teaching from these women, but these are my prominent memories of them.

Enter Miss Parasine.

What I remember about Miss Parasine was the way she made me feel.

• She made me feel seen.
• She made me feel smart.
• She made me feel unique.
• She made me feel special.

And the best part? She made everyone feel that way. She did it by paying attention. By seeing what each of us needed and giving us exactly that. The friend from whom I “copied” the M*A*S*H paper also had Miss Parasine in 5th grade. We are still good friends and we talk about her sometimes. The specifics of what I remember are different from the specifics that she remembers.

I remember the way she taught math. Individualized, at our own pace, honing into our individual strengths and challenges. She allowed me to build on a strength I didn’t know I had.

Lauren remembers how she did spelling and reading. A bulletin board that celebrated our accomplishments with hot air balloons.

But we both remember that she even made the “problem” kids feel special. The one student who was a bit of a mess and had his desk dumped on the floor by the 4th grade teacher found some strategies for organization and had a much better self image in 5th grade. And one of our classmates who was demonstrating serious behavioral issues was always treated with kindness and love, even when looking back we can see what a challenge that must have been for her.

So in the end, Miss Parasine wasn’t just performing the role of a great teacher, she was paying attention. She didn’t just go through the motions, she knew every one of us and exactly what we needed.

Maybe that’s the real magic of a “Miss Parasine”—not the perfect lesson plan or the bulletin board, but the decision to notice. To really see the people in front of you and give them exactly what they need to feel valued. We all have that power, no teaching degree required.

So this week, I challenge you to choose one person—at work, at home, or in your community—and pay the kind of attention that says, I see you. You matter. You never know how long they’ll carry that feeling with them.

Who was your “Miss Parasine”? What can we take with us from that experience and apply to our day-to-day life?

I’d love to hear your story if you’re willing to share!

Wishing you a peaceful and purpose-filled week,

Beth

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